Silence & Grace

multiple times over the course of the last few days, including today, the profundity of silence has spoken to me and taken immediate effect in the events that followed.  i believe that it is very easy to take the grace of silence for granted by starting to become focused on how quiet i can get instead how entrenched in God's presence can i allow myself to be.  maybe 'stillness' is a better word than silence.

ephesians 2:18 has spoken to me gently and sensitively at the loudest times of my fleshly nature recently, "For it is through Him that we both, whether far off or near now have an introduction (access) by one Holy Spirit to the Father, so that we are able to approach Him."  i am well aware of the fact that i am both the one who is near and the one who is far so much of the time.

what i am grateful for is how gracious God is to be so accessible to both the near and the far.  at any and every and all moments, He is there, whether i like it or not, believe or not, act like it or not.

silence, or stillness, has been like an giant splash of cold water on my hungover, worn out face.  it's a brisk freshness that brightens and opens my eyes to seeing the new day.  the glorious and wonderful thing is the new day.  it is silly to be focused on the water.  the stillness and the water is like a bear trap, once i've caught the bear, i forget about the trap and focus on what it's all about.

family ... children...

for as long as i can remember, there have been very few times when having a child that i am responsible for has sounded appealing.  at those rare times, the feeling is wonderful and powerful, but not strong.  it doesn't take much (distraction, quiet, loud children, etc) for the feeling to pass.

for the weekend, i am on vacation with my family; my whole family!  spouse, parents, siblings, nephews and nieces.  we're only short on the family pets (thank god).  while we were sitting around the dinner table, it was hard to keep the thought out of my mind of how wonderfully my brother and sister parent and how wonderfully my parents have parented.  that is so much to be thankful for.  they are incredible, beyond description.  they set the bar further than i'm able to see.  they are selfless, caring, thoughtful and loving.  taking their gift of parenting for granted would be a horrible sin to commit.  i am blessed to be surrounded by them.

Be With Christ

He Who descended is the [very] same as He Who also has ascended high above all the heavens, that He [His presence] might fill all things (the whole universe, from the lowest to the highest).  - Ephesians 4:10

 

God is infinite in his simplicity and simple in his infinity. Therefore he is everywhere and is everywhere complete. He is everywhere on account of his infinity, and is everywhere complete on account of his simplicity. Only God flows into all things, their very essences. Nothing else flows into something else. God is in the innermost part of each and every thing, only in its innermost part.  -  Mister Eckhart

 

May the strength of God pilot me,

the power of God preserve me today.

 

May the wisdom of God instruct me,

the eye of God watch over me,

the ear of God hear me,

the word of God give me sweet talk,

the hand of God defend me,

the way of God guide me.


 

Christ be with me.

Christ before me.

Christ after me.

Christ in me.

Christ under me.

Christ over me.

Christ on my right hand.

Christ on my left hand.

Christ on this side.

Christ on that side.

Christ at my back.

 

Christ in the head of everyone to whom I speak.

Christ in the mouth of every person who speaks to me.

Christ in the eye of every person who looks at me.

Christ in the ear of every person who hears me today.

-  Early Church, Irish Prayer

Grandma

i am convinced that i have the greatest grandma there is.  if not, then she definitely makes the top 5!  she is god's 'best case scenario' from when he created the world.  she forgives.  she commits for life.  she selflessly cares for others.  she's silent and listens.  she encourages and speaks.  she is accepting and welcoming.  she is available.  and, dag nab it, the woman can cook like none other!  and this is 'just another person,' i'm writing about.  she isn't a story or myth or a fabricated legend.  she is as real as it gets.  she became a mom at age 16 and decided to love her family the most that she could from then on, even though her family make it about as difficult as they could at times.  but now, they are all different and effected by her great, withstanding love.  flesh and bone.  spirit and heart.

it's so easy to hear stories about people like her and keep them at a comfortable distance of imagination because knowing that they actually exists instills a sense of responsibility to be as great as it is been proven humanly possible to be.  no more excuses.  she does exist and i am a better person for it.  i hope and pray that i will continue to be a better person for it and that, because of her and her children, my grandkids might someday be writing the same thing about me.  because of her.

speaking to me already...

i work at a church. administration and objectives seem to constantly be at odds. i'm okay with people asking, 'can we try thinking of other ways to accomplish this goal,' but, so often, there is no asking, there is only heavy oversight, discouragement and worst-case-scenario thinking.

as of last week i've become the point person to planning a retreat in the sonora mountains. it's incredibly exciting, overwhelming and inspiring. today i wrote an email to one of the head guys asking if there were any kind of funds for mailouts or promotional materials. my experience has prepared me for a gigantic, 'yeah, we'll just take it out of the budget next to our fund for feeding everyone in the entire world ... you idiot.' but the response i got back was the exact opposite! i could not believe it. i read it and read it again. the person's short reply was, 'I say we spend whatever we need to. We have no budget for this but it's too important to worry about that now. ... We have to do something!! Money is not my primary concern at this point.'

holy crap.

what i've learned from this is the power of working with people. that guy encouraged me so much by saying, 'yes! lets figure out what needs to be done,' that he could now show me all the restraints we will run into, but i'll still feel invited, encouraged, inspired and committed to our partnership as we continue. he earned my respect! it taught me how i need to work with those administrative people. i want the admins and 'deskies' to feel encouraged by me the way i was by him. there is incredible power in unity, respect and encouragement.

but, of course, learning is so much easier than applying...

tuesdays are our sundays

shawna just finished telling me a story about how she had been in a late-rush, going from one job to another.  one of her shoes had been dropped and was missing.  running frantically through clubsport, she finally found it.  on her sprint out, one of her students was taking a picture of the sunset and the mother said to shawna, "look!"  to which shawna busily said, "yeah, beautiful, bye!"  the little girls mom touched shawna's shoulder and said, "no, look.  just ten seconds."  shawna did.  she also didn't choose to run to her car, instead she walked.  i like that story.  i love my wife.  she is my sunset.  too often i'm running to my car or running to find something as important as my shoe.  she's my sunset, every day, every hour.  it's good to just walk and enjoy her on the way to get that other 'important' stuff out of the way.

peaks and valleys

today i hiked to the top of the danville hills like i've been dreaming and planning to do for the last 15 years (since we moved here).  jon fink and i followed a trail for two and a half hours to the top where this view waited for us.  there were several views along the way for us to stop and take in.  the view from the top was special primarily for the sense of accomplishment and the old bench that wait there for us.

on our way down we circled what we now know was the 'lone tree' and saw a box at the base of it.  at first, it was a bit creepy, but once we looked inside we saw toy cars and a notepad with entree's dating back to 2005 written by people stumbling across this and enjoying the privilege of nature.  it was such a cool find and experience.

also, it had been a while since i last checked on a blog that i've been following concerning a little girl named Korrine who has been battling cancer for a long while now.  to my shock, she passed away this morning.  this family has been through hell.  so many people have left comments already saying the things that people say at times like these.  our minds scramble, desperately searching for solid comfort and then we blurt out a mess of words that are band-aids over broken and shattered hearts and minds.  my God, i pray the best for their family.  they loved their daughter.  it is the kind of love that is relentless and will seek a new way to be at home in their new and shaken lives.

1st John 4:16, "God is Love.  Whoever lives in Love lives in God, and God in them."

this family lived in love.  i pray that loss will not weaken them, but will strengthen their resolve, rest and commitment to be in love as the challenges and obstacles have done for them leading up to this loss.

how they've made it this far and in so much love is cause for recognition, silence and gratitude.